I could tell by the sound of her voice as soon as I answered the phone that I wasn't going to like what I was about to hear. It was clear she had been crying. After almost 3 years it looks as though this is the beginning of the end of the fight. For days now dad has not been sleeping. While not proven, the doctor thinks the tumors have now moved to the brain. I feel as though we characters from a Grey's Anatomy episode, one where there is no happy ending. One they throw in there just to remind people that not everyone lives... no matter how bad we want it.
I just laid in my bed for several seconds after the phone disconnected. Hoping that it was just a realistic dream. I know I should go next door for a visit, and soon I will. Mom says dad is so heavily medicated that he really doesn't know what is going on, but he has been on the drugs for a few days now and I have gotten used to the random questions like "are you going to watch the fireworks?" How I really wish I could just hide away till it all passes. However, my mom deserves to have her daughter by her side so she does not need to do this alone. What I hate more than knowing that it's almost the end is the part where I don't know the exact end. Because somehow I think that might just make it easier. So I will allow myself a few more tears, some time with my dusty Bible(I did tell God I wanted to get back in touch), and the fight the cold wind to go over to face what I fear.

Job26