A week of firsts

The first week of the new year has been completed. With that first week brought a lot of other firsts for me. Some small and some that will be a little more meaningful.

One of my goals this year is like most... to work out more. Unlike most I started this resolution off on January 1st with a visit to a Chinese buffet with Brandon followed on January 2nd with a trip to a pizza buffet with Brandon and his brother. However on the 4th it was off to Laker Elementary and off to more reasonable eating menu. Over the course of the week, I put in 30 minutes on Wii Fit. And on Saturday decided I deserved a day of rest. Today I will settle for a few games of bowling and maybe some boxing.

Another more important first was week at Lakers. With that week I am only 11 weeks away from graduating. And I have to admit I loved it. It was far less structured than any classroom I have ever been in but I liked that the children had responsibility and choice. They needed a little kick in the right direction every few minutes but overall they felt like they were in charge. I have already bonded with several of the students and am banking on that bond to get them to work hard for me over the next 11 weeks. They don't know this but I have pretty high expectations for them.

I read my first book of the year also. Actually it is probably one of the few books I have read from start to finish over the last 5 years. Letters Left Behind I picked it up from the library on Tuesday and found it hard to put down. I would read it in the morning before the students arrived, while the students were at recess, and after school while I was waiting for Mrs.Salsbury to finish up her classroom work. It's was a tear-jerker. I had to at times put it down when the kids were around in fear that I would cry in front of them. It's the journal of the parents of a 6 year old girl who is diagnosed with Brain cancer. The story itself is touching enough but I began to see how it related to my own life. In my class I have a little girl (who I will call Gabby) and when she seen what I was reading asked me what it was about. I replied "It's about a little girl who has a tumor in her brain." Her eyes grew big and she relied " I had a tumor in my brain, they took it out when I was sleeping." This little girl in my class has really pulled on my heart strings already. I dreaded that she would ask what happened to the little girl, because how do you tell a girl who had a brain tumor that another little girl died as a result of one. Lucky for me that didn't come up and I believe Gabby believes the little girl in my book lived just like she did. Gabby also reminds me of the little girl in the book because of her letters. Just like Elena in the story she draws pictures and writes short little notes. I have a drawing with stars that says "you are the best" and a little sticky note that simply asks "how are you" . As the story continued however it took me away from Gabby and reminded me more of my dad's own battle with cancer. Just this week he has been given a pick line to receive pain medication. He weighs only a few pounds more than me and spent most of the past week in bed. I distance myself, keeping busy in my duplex and trying not to think of it. I know it's not the best way of dealing with it, but for me it's what I can handle right now. Someday I might regret not spending this time with him, but right now my thoughts are I don't want to remember these moments. If I do go over to the house its to give my mom someone to make small talk with so she too can escape from reality for a few minutes. I wish I had the strength to be over there more for her sake. So instead I spend time with my dad in my own duplex uploading pictures from our past summers trip to Maine. When people passing us thought we were just a normal father and daughter on a motorcycle all the way from Michigan... not as a father who was fighting a terminal cancer that was cheating his daughter of more summer trips on that motorcycle.